mr tabloid

Vanity Fair fired back today by simply posting the Miley Cyrus interview and photo shoot on their website. Basically, it takes the piss right out of the following claim made by Disney via The New York Times who think Disney is worried about the shots alienating parents from their billion dollar franchise:

A Disney spokeswoman, Patti McTeague, faulted Vanity Fair for the photo. “Unfortunately, as the article suggests, a situation was created to deliberately manipulate a 15-year-old in order to sell magazines,” she said.

Vanity Fair’s online article also includes behind the scene photos, where the picture above was taken, that show Miley having a blast during the shoot. Here’s a quote from the article:

Um, was Cyrus—or Disney—at all anxious about this shot? “No, I mean I had a big blanket on. And I thought, This looks pretty, and really natural. I think it’s really artsy.”

I put on my detective hat and tried to find the gun in these photos that Annie Liebovitz used to force defenseless Miley Cyrus to pose for these pictures, but so far no dice. I thought I saw Adolf Hitler with a machete and had cracked this case wide open but it was just a palm tree. Then why did it have a moustache…

NOTE: I know you guys are probably wondering what the brain trust at The View thought about this whole debacle. Well, you’re in luck, video after the jump of Whoopi cutting through the bullshit and telling it like it is while Elisabeth Hasselbeck apparently listened to Rush Limbaugh this morning and blamed Annie Leibovitz. Fortunately, there’s Joy Behar to say “Billy Ray is robbing that ass!” So, prepare yourself, for the sassiest barrage of sass this side of Sassylvania.

UPDATE: Annie Leibovitz issued the following statement to People: “I’m sorry that my portrait of Miley has been misinterpreted. Miley and I looked at fashion photographs together and we discussed the picture in that context before we shot it. The photograph is a simple, classic portrait, shot with very little makeup, and I think it is very beautiful.” Afterwards, Annie ate the American flag then read a Harry Potter book because, didn’t you know? She’s a terrorist.

The recently freed Amy Winehouse (Yep, the cops just warned her to keep her face to herself) apparently has another addiction besides booze, blow, popsicles, magazines, McDonald’s french fries, ballet slippers and smoking crack with cats. Our girl Amy likes to do it. A lot. I’ll give you a minute to quickly clear your thoughts and think about something less gross. Like witnessing natural child birth. Anyway, Amy hasn’t exactly been the faithful wife and is somehow managing to find live men willing to see her naked, according to The Sun:

The friend said: “It’s funny how she bedded the last two people who have been helping to look after her. Amy is sex-mad — and she gets what she wants.”
The Sun revealed on Saturday how Amy plans to divorce hubby BLAKE FIELDER-CIVIL — who is behind bars on remand on assault and trial fixing charges. But she had been unable to face telling the junkie about her affair with ALEX HAINES — her manager’s aide. A source said yesterday: “In all honesty they think The Sun has done them a favour. It was getting harder to keep the affair under wraps.”

Surprisingly, this morning People is corroborated The Sun’s story that Amy and Blake are eventually headed towards Splitsville. Trust me, I guarantee nobody’s more stunned than the folks at the The Sun:

“It is a tough situation,” the insider added, responding to British reports of the union’s demise. “[I] don’t think that anyone who knows them and cares about them doesn’t have an opinion about why they should [split], but it’s not happening now.”

So, basically, if you run into a drunk Amy Winehouse you’re faced with either two outcomes: Get headbutted in the face or have sex with her. If it were me, I’d go for Secret Option #3: Hand Amy a knife and tell her there’s a balloon full of coke in my belly. Then I’ll simply walk away after she completely misses and stabs a parking meter - across the street.

Move over, Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal, there’s a new boring couple in town! These two had not one, but count ‘em, TWO meals together in Miami over the weekend. Not only that, but salad was involved. Get the fuck out! Alert the press! Oh, wait. Us Magazine reports:

“They were affectionate – definitely touchy, feely,” a source told Usmagazine.com about their dinner. “The room they ate in was almost empty. They both drank Belinis.”
Their lunch “definitely seemed like a date,” a witness told Us.
“He had a sandwich,” the onlooker said. “She stole some bites and nibbled on a salad.”

I’m pretty sure John Mayer’s guitar shoots Spanish Fly when he plays it because, otherwise, I have no idea how he manages to score so many chicks. I tried to make a similar contraption myself but, contrary to popular belief, women aren’t turned on by Pam Cooking Spray - fired from a tuba. It seemed good on paper…

Miley Cyrus will appear on the cover of the latest Vanity Fair set to hit newsstands later this week. She posed for a, what she now calls “racy”, shoot (above) with legendary photographer Annie Liebovitz. Miley is worried the shots will alienate fans and issued an apology to Entertainment Tonight:

“I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be ‘artistic’ and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed,” she tells ET. “I never intended for any of this to happen and I apologize to my fans who I care so deeply about.”

Vanity Fair is basically saying “WTF?” to the sudden hub-bub, because Miley and her parents had no problem at all when they initially saw the photos:

“Miley’s parents and/or minders were on the set all day. Since the photo was taken digitally, they saw it on the shoot and everyone thought it was a beautiful and natural portrait of Miley. In fact, when BRUCE HANDY interviewed Miley, he asked her about the photo and she was very cheerful about it and thought it was perfectly fine.”

Apparently Disney, who owns Hannah Montana, was not aware of the photos until they appeared on Entertainment Tonight. You know how Disney cares about that wholesome image. They don’t want their young starlets flashing their goods until they’re good and insane. Right, Britney Spears? Now get that kitten out of your mouth. For the last time, putting hot fudge on it doesn’t make it food. You gotta use ketchup.

EDIT: Added a video after the jump from today’s The Early Show about the controversy. Disney is definitely flipping their shit. Hannah Montana is a billion dollar franchise. That’s a spicy meatball! Thanks to Lindsey at RedLasso for the hook-up.

If you’ve ever had the distinct pleasure of having Dustin Diamond visit your college or you attended one of his shows, you will immediately support the validity of this e-mail I received. I’ve heard many a tale of how much of a jerkass Dustin is in person and, since it’s early Monday morning, I’m sharing a recent anecdote for you to enjoy. This story comes from reader Jeremy who, along with his friend “Gee,” had the task of picking up Samuel Powers at the airport last Wednesday. I now present to you: “A Kind of Long E-mail Where Screech Says a Bunch of Crazy Shit and Bombs at a Comedy Club But Sadly Does Not Feature a Cameo by Kelly Kapowski Who I Would Give My Left Testicle To Get With True Story”:

So, we got to the airport, we saw Dustin Diamond (whose only demand was that we don’t call him Screech or mention Saved by the Bell), and we approached him, telling him that we were there to pick him up. He asked if we worked for the State, and we said no, but we were there to pick him up, anyway. He seemed okay with that.
Once we got in the car, with his luggage barely fitting in the trunk, we started making awkward small talk. Gee asked him who his comedic influences were, and Screech gave him a few names (Brian Regan, George Carlin, Mitch Hedburg–who Screech says was his best friend). Gee asked him if he liked Bill Hicks at all, and Screech went into a twenty-minute tirade about how much of a joke thief Bill Hicks was. “Oooh, he’s an angry smoker who rants against the government, that’s really original. He stole his act from Lenny Bruce, who stole his act from some other guy, blah blah blah.”
Screech then talked to us about a wide variety of very strange stuff. To sum up: He loved Cloverfield, said that No Country for Old Men was “FUCKING horrible,” saved his house by selling 22,000 t-shirts (he signed 17,000 of them), including one to the lead singer of Korn. What else? He called the ending to the Usual Suspects (since he grew up in the industry, he saw through it). He wrote the script for Alien 3, but they didn’t use his ideas because they wanted to “remake the first one.” He’s invented fifteen different household items, including a holiday themed doorbell (it plays holiday music when it rings!).
He then browbeat Gee for having such a dirty car and spent the remainder of the ride giving us financial advice on how to stop being poor.
Well, we were told we were going to be compensated for the trip, plus we were going to be given free tickets to the show, but Screech chewed the manager of the State out because we didn’t work for the theater and the car wasn’t clean, so we got nothing.
This is when I went home and watched Lost. Gee went to the show. Screech hit the stage at 9:30ish. Gee says he was beyond awful. One of the jokes he told me, to give me an idea of the overall style, was that Screech compared having sex with an old grandmother with putting his dick in a grilled cheese sandwich.
Well, obviously, this irritated Gee, and the audience, so he seriously was thinking of walking out, at which point, after one of his more obscene jokes, Screech said, “By the way folks, I am available for children’s parties.” After having listened to Screech rant for twenty minutes earlier in the day about how much of a joke thief Bill Hicks was, Gee had had enough, stood up and yelled, in the middle of a very quiet theater, “Boo! That’s a Bill Hicks joke, you joke thief! Boo!”

So, what have we learned today? 1. Screech hates being called Screech or reminded that he was Screech. Because he’d be so much more famous if he weren’t Screech. Good one, Screech. 2. Screech sucks at comedy. Yet still books gigs. Who knows? 3. Screech had sex with a grilled cheese sandwich. Which is surprising because I figured melted cheese on bread would have higher standards. What did Screech promise you, Cheese? A chance to meet Mario Lopez? And you fell for it? Oh, Cheese. You’ve been using again haven’t you?

Thanks to Jeremy who’s cooler than burgers at The Max.

Miley’s Papa Didn’t Know About The Photoshoot! - Celebrity Fashion Watcher

Insincere Tom Cruise - Agent Bedhead

DWTS Injury - Bitten & Bound

Ronaldo’s Sex Scandal - Stupid Celebrities

Jimmy Hendrix Sex Tape - Gabby Babble

Ashlee Simpson’s Bling - Celebrity Nation

Ricky Martin’s gettin’ up there… - D*ana’s Dirt

Mariah is Maybe Engaged - CelebSlam

Jim Carrey is Gay-Tastic! - Celeb Warship

WOW Halle Berry Has Cleavage - Farandulista

Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt - Anything Hollywood

Hilary Duff At Tribecca Film Festival - Girls Talkin Smack

Here are Rumer Willis, Josie Maran, Christina Milian and Kristin Cavallari getting their bikinis on for the new Op line from Wal-Mart.  These pics have been photoshopped to death.  Rumer does not even look like Rumer.  The picture below is a hoot Rumer and Pete have the same haircut!  Notice how they have her hiding her chin - good move!

Feuds put aside they managed to do the cover of Rolling Stone!

Brooke Hogan continues to spend her days in a bikini, but this time she was joined by her dad and his new girlfriend who, creepily, looks like Brooke. For those keeping score at home: Hulk’s girlfriend has the back tattoo and her bikini doesn’t tie in the back. Brooke has the sunglasses, her bikini ties in the back and she also has HER FATHER’S HAND ON HER ASS! WHAT THE SUPER FUCK?! If my daughter asked me to put suntan lotion on her bikini-clad ass, I’d say “Sure, honey. First, let me just put on my beekeeper’s outfit, knight’s armor, and some rubber gloves. In the meantime, could you be so kind to distract the lifeguard while daddy dives into the deep-end of the pool and, God willing, drowns? Aw, you’re a peach.”

Kim Kardashian (looking unusually hot) and her sister Khloe are currently down under scoping out Australian Fashion Week. But, just last week, the two came to blows over Kim’s new Bentley. Aww, now that’s relatable. Anyway, the fisticuffs showed up on the latest episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians (video after the jump). So, when I say these two rumbled, I mean, literally, the ground shook. Khloe is one solid woman. She could probably give Brooke Hogan a run for her money. Then afterwards they’d swap tips on shaving their testicles. BFFs with balls 4 life!