mr tabloid

Thanks to Britney Spears this piece of gossip was buried underneath reports of laxative and motorcades. I smell conspiracy. Apparently Paris Hilton was spotted making out with Elisha Cuthbert at Tenjune in New York. Us Magazine reports:

Hilton was there for a birthday party and was seen dancing on banquets. “It’s Paris,” says the source. “She loves putting on a show.”

First off, two girls kissing! Woo-hoo! Okay, now that the formalities are out of the way, I’m a little disappointed there’re no pictures of these two making out. Not counting the ones in my mind. Except I swapped Paris with Hayden Panettiere and, also, the two aren’t making out in a nightclub as much as a Jacuzzi full of applesauce. So basically I’m imaging they’re on a second date. Or, in my case, a first date. Watch out!

And now’s the part of the day where I try and post something, anything, non-Britney Spears related. Here’s Matthew McConaughey with his ridiculously hot, but pregnant, girlfriend Camila Alves at the premiere of his new movie Fool’s Gold. Also in attendance is the surprisingly alive Malcolm-Jamal Warner. Take it away, Malcolm: “Bill Cosby hit me a with pudding pop.” Yeah, he did.

While no one is surprised that Britney Spears made another trip to the psych ward, what is surprising is that the LAPD and FAA already had previously arranged plans to facilitate Britney’s magical journey to cuckoo town. Ever since her last meltdown, plans were laid to expedite an inevitable return to the hospital. (You’re welcome, California taxpayers!) Britney’s lack of sleep was the trigger for today’s excursion, according to People:

“No one thought this would happen this soon, but it was clear if she stayed up for more than three days she’d have to get sent, since that could cause real damage. The last time she slept was Saturday.”
Adds the source: “The motorcade and everything was planned, it was already in the works to have them block off the road and airspace. It worked out perfectly.”

If I was a pilot flying overhead and found out I had to clear the airspace for Britney Spears, the shit would hit the fan, my friend. I’d get on the intercom and inform the passengers that this is their captain speaking and we’re about to make an unscheduled landing into Britney Spears pool. And by landing I mean crash. After a thunderous round of applause, I’d guzzle the rest of my Big Gulp full of whiskey (Thank you, stewardess) then lock the plane into a nosedive. I don’t want to say I’m a hero, but Batman better have an extra set of balls in his utility belt to pull off moves like these.

UPDATE: Video of the motorcade after the jump. And yeah, it’s every bit as ridiculous as it sounds.

Dr. Phil showed up on The View this morning to stick his mug once again into the latest Britney Spears fiasco. Ok! Magazine reports:

“I don’t think [Spears’ current hospitalization] surprises anybody. All I’ve ever try to do is help. By that I don’t mean doing therapy, because I don’t do that anymore, but I’ve always felt like let’s get her to the right kinds of professionals–ones that could provide psychological and psychiatric support. I don’t know the circumstances of how she wound up in the hospital today, but if it’s moving in that direction, that could be a good thing.”

Dr. Phil was also pimping his Britney story on Good Morning America and The Today Show earlier in the week. Dr. Phil likes feeling relevant. Otherwise he turns into the Incredible Hulk and eats children. No, really, I read it on Wikipedia. Or was it the bathroom stall I wrote on last week? I get the two confused.

Britney Spears supposedly told doctors at UCLA she’s on Adderall and has been taking ten laxatives a day. Wow, on top of all that Starbucks? That’s pretty gross. Anyway, she also laid down some heavy accusations against her mom Lynne, according to TMZ:

We’re also told, when she was admitted, Britney accused her mom of “sleeping with my boyfriend.” She wasn’t specific on who she was referring to.
We’re also told that for a time she was hurling profanities at her parents and staff.

Lynne Spears and Adnan McWienerPills? Of course. That makes absolutely zero sense whatsoever. Therefore it’s gotta be true. I’m on board. Lynne, you whore!

Michelle Williams kicked Heath Ledger out of their Brooklyn home because of his drug problems over the past year. Heath would disappear for days on end and show up a complete mess, according to a member of Heath’s entourage. Page Six reports:

“He was partying, doing drugs. She didn’t like the company he was keeping. She gave him an ultimatum. . . . and threatened to get custody of the girl. He wanted to make it work, but it was this scene he was wrapped up in. Was he an addict? Yeah.”

Entertainment Tonight was also going to air a tape of Heath doing cocaine at a hotel party in 2006, but opted not to out of respect for the Ledger family. Heath also had a problem with heroin that may shed light on his death, according to Page Six’s source:

“Once you go down that road, then it gets really scary. Because all of sudden you shoot up, you take heroin, then you do a line of cocaine and then you take sleeping pills. Look at River Phoenix, he died exactly the same way.”

I tried to find the Heath Ledger drug video on YouTube but all I found was some jackass who filmed himself through what looks like a roll of toilet paper. I don’t want to say it’s the most retarded thing I’ve seen in a while because I cover Britney Spears everyday. So that bar is pretty high. That being said, now I can’t stop saying “Earthen dam.” God, I hate you, YouTube. But I can’t quit you.

Before the cops arrived, the shrink told Britney she was going back to the hospital and she offered no resistance. She said, “Is something wrong?” She made hot chocolate and waited. Her mom, Lynne, got extremely agitated, accusing Sam of engineering the impending commitment. We’re told Brit told her to “shut the hell up.” She demanded silence, sat on the floor and wrote notes to people who were there as they waited. When emergency personnel arrived, Brit went on the gurney without resistance.Law enforcement sources tell an L.A. County Superior Court judge has just signed a “5150″. There is a “good possibility” that it will be extended to 14 days.

At the same time, Britney’s mother, father and brother have been “working closely with the LAPD for weeks” to get her back in for psychiatric care. There is now a dogfight between Britney’s family and Sam Lutfi over who will make medical decisions, however, that fight is now put on hold because the judge now makes the call.

Update:

Britney’s parents have won round one in the tug of war with Sam Lutfi. UCLA are now “fully cooperating” with the parents in the treatment of Britney Spears, however, the war probably is not over until a judge signs an order as to who has control.

Sam Lutfi left the hospital before 4:00 AM. Papa Jamie just left.

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Amazing!

There’s nothing like waking up in the morning and finding out Britney Spears went insane again while you were sleeping. As I’m sifting through the deluge of info, it appears Sam Lufti is was the point man with the doctors who are taking care of Britney. During her last trip to the hospital, she signed some form stating she doesn’t want her parents involved in any type of medical emergency, according to TMZ:

We’re told her dad had gone ballistic back then, screaming and swearing at Lutfi — even pushing him — in front of Britney. As to what paperwork was signed, the cleanest thing would be if Britney signed a durable power of attorney, giving someone power to make medical decisions on her behalf in an emergency. We are told no such document was signed, but somehow Britney made it clear she wanted Lutfi to make those decisions.

Obviously her parents have called in all kinds of lawyers to get this mess straightened out. In the meantime, E! Online is reporting that Sam is the one who contacted Britney’s psychiatrist to get the ball rolling. Plans had been laid for days to get Britney hospitalized and the LAPD was ready for the call:

Lutfi was said to be key in making it happen, even over the objections of the singer’s recently reunited mother, Lynne.
“The scene inside the house was chaos,” the insider continued. “Lynne was shouting at police. She didn’t want them to take Britney away at first. It was a zoo.”

Here’s an interesting little item that I remembered from yesterday on TMZ. Britney and Sam got into a loud screaming match in front of the paps over who would drive her new Mercedes Benz. The Benz that Sam made her go out and buy while her parents were in town. He was spotted driving the car to the hospital this morning. It seems like Britney is Sam’s goose that lays the golden eggs. As long as he keeps her in the hospital, he still gets to have McMuffins. Or maybe an omelet. Western style. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I haven’t had breakfast yet.

Britney Spears was taken from her home early this morning in an ambulance. She’s currently checked into UCLA for mental evaluation, according to People:

“She went willingly. It was like something in her heart was telling her she should go. She knew something was wrong,” confidant Sam Lutfi tells PEOPLE.

However Sam Lufti may no longer be speaking for Britney. TMZ is reporting that Britney’s parents are taking control of the situation and are working with a judge to get control of Britney:

We’re told Britney’s mother, father and brother have been “working closely with the LAPD for weeks” to get her back in for psychiatric care. There is now a dogfight between Britney’s family and Sam Lutfi over who will make medical decisions, however, that fight is now put on hold because the judge now makes the call.

Apparently it was Britney Spears’ new psychiatrist who called the ambulance last night to get the ball rolling. There was no suicide attempt which had been previously been rumored. Britney is back on 5150 hold and this time her parents are looking to it extend it for 14 days. As of this post, there has been no sign of Dr. Phil. He’s probably still firing up the Phil-jet.